Art by Gatsby

Despite some very strong signs in hindsight, I had no idea I was queer until my mid-20s, but here we are.

A Work in Progress

I don’t have a lot to say here, really. I’ve considered myself gay and/or queer for a while, but only recently have I started to consciously dig into that much more. I think like many folks, I felt “inadequately queer” compared to my peers.

A very cis-male presenting cis-male in tech who dated girls as often as guys…it felt like “queer” wasn’t my scene. But I’m finally fixing that.

Self-Love

Aside from career anxiety, I never struggledd with self-confidence. I did my own thing, enjoyed what I liked, and dressed comfortably and casually in a way that felt suggested little more than “this guy can match colors alright”. But friends and therapy have brought that into refocus for me; I still have room to grow in self-love, even if I feel overall “content” with things.

The biggest thing I’ve started playing with lately is makeup and outfits! Shaking things up just a little to simply think about this aspect of my life more.

Gay/Queer/Bi/Pan

Labels are tricky in the LGBTQIA+ community. I mean it’s easy to respect each others’ but it’s hard to pick one (or a few) for yourself with confidence.

• I consider myself Bisexual, but I don’t personally see a meaningful difference between Bisexual and Pansexual for me
• I refer to myself as either Gay or Queer interchangeably, depending on the converation and vibe

Polyamory

I used to consider myself polyamorous, but due to being taken advantage, and not fully understanding what polyamory meant, I don’t feel comfortable with that title anymore. Someday I may revisit it with my partner, but until then I feel that my non-polyamorous relationships are benefiting from my current efforts.

Jessica Fern’s Polysecure was a godsend in freeing myself from a lot of confusion and indecision, and I cannot recommend it strongly enough to anyone.
Monogamous, queer, straight…it doesn’t matter. It’s a universally-applicable treatise on understanding your romantic motivations and how you handle relationships (both positive and negative).